Caution & Warning! You just digged your own grave and you buried yourself!

I have learnt a lot of things recently. And seriously i have regret. I learnt that i might as well keep it to myself or just ignore it and not take it seriously instead of posting on the net. It have ruined my relationship which i SERIOUSLY don't know how to gain back his love, i lost trust from friends which i care about and most of all, I have ruined the relationship between me and my family which i love and i don't know how to gain back their trust.

At one moment, i felt useless, hopeless, no doubt speechless, jobless and cashless. And whatever 'less' there is! I felt lonely. I felt like i lost everyone i loved one by one. I lost my future husband's love, and i'm trying my best to get it back even i know that he still loves me but not like before. I lost a mother's love.. Which i really miss. Which to me, i need that everyday. I felt like i lost my best friend. I lost the people that i could talk to. I felt like killing myself!

In the end, a few friends that is still left, decided to have a table talk with me and make me realize what i have been doing. And i totally broke down in tears. Wish i could turn back the time. I've been a BITCH! 

Enough said.

Changes for the past 3 years

 Feels awkward to be writing again in my blog after i totally abandon this website after 3 years. There are times i do still read it and remember all those child hoods i use to be. 

As for now it's a new life. A total new life. New love, new house, new journey. Daddy officially moved to Kota Kinabalu. My mum remarried at year 2010 i think. After then, we stayed at Damansara utama with the cats and step dad.

As all know i was i the longest relationship ever with Mohd Aliff. Well, it ended on christmas day 2011. It was not because of there were a third party, just that i thought we are getting nowhere after 6 years and he didn't even think about marrying me.

I became a bit nuts after that. Alcoholic. Was at Laundry Bar, The Curve everyday. Up till now i was wondering where i had the money to drink up the Vodka's. Hahaha.

Months later decided to move on as there were to much memories in mum's house. So i moved out with the girlfriends Aira and Wiwi. We shifter to Damansara Pelangi with rental of RM900. Im quite amazed of myself to do this. 

From left to right :

Wiwi, me, and Aira. 

One of those nights before to Laundry.

Moving out was a really great idea. I also found a new love life. Someone used to be working at the same place i used to work, GSC, One Utama. He was working under concession area while i was at the box office. Funny part was, i was eyeing on him and he looked cute. Didn't expect he would be called as my boyfriend.

Now, I'm happy with how i am. Living independently, not what i expected. Aira and Wiwi moved out from the house and im still renting the place with new housemates. Not forgetting my cat Lessy which i found downstairs. LOL.

 Err.. Yeah.. She's my baby all right.

After a year past by, welcomed 2013, and things just went a bit down. Argued with mum up to the point where she just deleted me and blocked me on facebook. *Somehow reminds me of the dubstep song Knife Party - Internet Friend (You blocked me on facebook, and now you're going to die) HAHAHAHA!). Okay, no laughing matter though. Erm..

Mama,

If you happen to read this blog which i know most people thought i will no longer write, just wanna let you know, i miss you mama. Sorry for what happen and what i did to you.

As there are times i know or feel nothing is going to make her talk to me as it's just karma of life. What happen to my mum and her mum is happening exactly kinda the same thing to me and my mum. 

Well, that's all the details i got for the new life of me. Hope to write in more soon.

Loves.