I see everything is so wrong now. There are times that i just have to smoke 3 times after 1. I feel so stressed up and maybe i am in shit condition. I'll smoke while i cry. I'll cry while i smoke. Thinking..wat actually happen to my family? Everything is falling apart. God knows how mummy is handling it. I just don't know if she is happy..I think she is. Daddy, i know you are happy. You are having Emily at Sabah. Yes i do know her name already. Itried adding her at friendster but she rejected me. And i felt upset coz is it so wrong to approve the daughter of the father that she is going out with? As for me, i know im really Unhappy. I feeli like there's nothing left for me in the family. Not much love that i can feel from daddy. Only i can only admit that Haniza is my mother and Razman is my father. Is that all i can admit?
I just don't know whether to blame it on Emily daddy.. If i blame it on her, i always remind my self how happy you are with her. She may look young ( i think she is, she must be), but i know age doesn't really matter.
Daddy... I feel so lonely now. There are times i feel like running away coz it doesn't make much difference if im at home. I'll be doing my own things while middle of the night i'll be smoking while crying thinking what has happen to the happy family i saw when i was a little girl. And that thought continues.....
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