Izzit so f**king wrong????!!

Izzit so *tut* wrong to write in my bluddy blog??!! To the people in the world that knows me and reads my blog, if you don't like it, don't argue with me! Easy to say don't read it everyday! Why read when you know you won't like what you see? It's my freaking blog and i could do whatever i want to do!

For instance my Unc. Wan.. How the hell does he know bout my blog? Fine la if he knows about it. But i don't think he has the freaking bluddy nerves to tell me of to STOP WRITTING IN MY F**KING BLOG!!!

This blog is for me to express my feelings! Not a bluddy bedtime story!

Written by Azlyn herself!

P/S : I don't freaking care if you terasa or whatever shit coz i have been so terasa by my own family!

The Happy Family... No more...

Dear Daddy...

To me... I missed a lot of things in the family. I miss you cheering me up after i have a fight with mama at home.. I miss laughing with you.. I miss eating with you.. I miss it that everytime when you wake me up you will be saying "Wake up princess.." I miss it when you call me princess.. But there are times i feel like im no longer your Dear Princess.. Believe it or not.. I miss it when you scold me at times!

I also miss the family outing. Where we could just go sight seeing around KL.. or anywhere in fact. I don't have much but i found this picture of family from my friendster. And i don't know why i cried..

Maybe i MISS you.. <3

I have been sleeping at B's house for the past few days. Nothing much.. We went to the park to layan his lil sister, Ain. We played in the slide, hide and seek and all.. Feel like kanak-kanak ribena's! LOL...

Then yesterday, we went to Fly fm's birthday bash.. Baby's so call uncle was performing... That is Bass Agents. Hahahahha...

Owh ya! Did i tell you that Uptown Hardstyle members took a picture with the famous DJ? GANJAGURU!

Now is 6.21 am and im still awake. I just don't know why i can't sleep. Baby is having Agama papers today and at 12.10 i'll be going to school to meet him. With all of the sudden i feel like going to Sabah but i just don't know when and also how to get the money to go. Per person is about RM 500. And i have been thinking to take Baby along to teman me.. For my money i can just ask from Wan. But as for B's.. I think we have to find a way..

As i was hanging out in my room just now i was sitting down and staring at the floor. I know i was thinking but I just don't know about what. Then i saw my parents old pictures. I took it and i stared at it. I felt like i wanted to cry but i don't know whether i want to or not. I just don't know what i felt.. Whether i was sad or angry. But one thing i know what i felt... I felt unhappy of the situation of my family. Looking at the picture made me think what happen to their love that was glooming the days. They look so happy. But what happens now and what will happen later?

Family Potrait

I see everything is so wrong now. There are times that i just have to smoke 3 times after 1. I feel so stressed up and maybe i am in shit condition. I'll smoke while i cry. I'll cry while i smoke. Thinking..wat actually happen to my family? Everything is falling apart. God knows how mummy is handling it. I just don't know if she is happy..I think she is. Daddy, i know you are happy. You are having Emily at Sabah. Yes i do know her name already. Itried adding her at friendster but she rejected me. And i felt upset coz is it so wrong to approve the daughter of the father that she is going out with? As for me, i know im really Unhappy. I feeli like there's nothing left for me in the family. Not much love that i can feel from daddy. Only i can only admit that Haniza is my mother and Razman is my father. Is that all i can admit?

I just don't know whether to blame it on Emily daddy.. If i blame it on her, i always remind my self how happy you are with her. She may look young ( i think she is, she must be), but i know age doesn't really matter.

Daddy... I feel so lonely now. There are times i feel like running away coz it doesn't make much difference if im at home. I'll be doing my own things while middle of the night i'll be smoking while crying thinking what has happen to the happy family i saw when i was a little girl. And that thought continues.....

I love HIM! :)

There are times i would just sit down and think bout my life; thinking who loves me and who don't. First, the people that will always love me is my Family.. Second.. haha... i always thought that i could play this guy out and i always thought he is not the right one for me. Even i broke up with him 3 times, he was still waiting for me.. I have no idea why he did that.. But in te end, i found out he cared about me like no one can and he makes me happy like there's no more space for me to smile at my face. Yaya... You get me lah!

Haha.... This guy's name is... MOHD ALIFF BIN MOHD SAUPI. There are times he buys me gifts.. And 100% i love it! This is the picture of our potrait that we did at Central Market and pics of the things that he bought for me..

Blargh!!!!!!

How should i start this blog? Well.. Im not a blogger freak now as i just don't know why i don't have the mood for it. Looking at my mum's blog at Wordpress is kinda cool... But im trying to figure out how the hell do you actually read each of her blog. It's all sort of tunggang terbalik kinda tingy.

Baby is having SPM at the moment. And i see him so relaxed and cool while im the one that's freaking out like im the one that will be facing exams. Good luck for him as he will be facing English paper 2moro.

As for my parents...

I just dunno where or how or how to start. Everything seems to be messed up.

I am just feeling confused like someone stole a candy from a little girl. And in the end, you just burst out in tears. Everyone is just piling up shits on me and say like "Oh this shit is not good for you, you should try this shit." While the other person says "Why should you listen and take the shit that person gives you? Throw that shit away and take a different kind of shits." Or better still "Why are you having shits? You shouldn't be holding shits cause you are not a FREAKIN' TOILET!!!"

Well... actually the last one is what i thought la.. As i said... I feel like im at the middle and i hear all sorts of whines, mumbles, grumbles, and especially lies. All that combines together becomes you know what... SHITS.

Fun!

Enough of the stories for once.. This is the space for me to put just pictures!! And see what's new..

Soon, this will be our new logo... Thanks to Udin.

Daddy... It's a broken family...

Daddy...

When you hear the word daddy, what comes to your mind? Of course, he is the cause that you are living in this world. Everyone have fathers, doesn't matter if they are still around or not. Maybe he was around but it was the time for him to leave the house or the time to leave the world.

My story today is.. Today is my 16th birthday and i swear to god im not enjoying my Sweet 16. My parents had a huge fight and they agreed for a divorce. I found a girl's pic in his laptop. The pic was on my parent's bed at Sabah. It was on the 6.9.2007 on the afternoon. There it was straight within my eyes i saw the picture on my birthday.

It feels so sad to know the truth again when u actually thought about the truth earlier but only you deny it. Me and mum went to her best friend's house just now.. Tears falling down from my eyes as i could feel the heat of the sun rising each second. Mum gave me a secret garden cologne.. Shared by daddy,but i don't think so. Knowing the truth of the truth reveals and to me, may it be the WORST birthday present on 23rd October 2007, not so sweet 16.

A day at KL

Started my day at 2 pm as i promised to follow the Uptown Gang go to KL. Went to B's hse first to wait till everyone get ready.. Lalala... Then waited for the bus and went straight to KL sentral. Straight when we arrive there we took the monorail and went to Sg. Wang. We lepak there la... It was fun coz it's the first time lepak-ing with them like that. Me,B,Zaha,Khairul,Ewan went.. Then we bumped to Apek like yada2.. We went to arcade waste money there... and then! OWH GOD!! Scariest thing of all...

A woman died wey!! She was there totally flat center of the stage at ground floor! We suspect she fell down from the top floor and sombody pushed her down or something.

At first we thought she fainted.. So i was just staring at the woman la kan... With all of the sudden they just put newspaper on top of her. I was like what the hell??? I was staring at a dead body??? It was like the first time ever i saw like that... After that i totally wanted to go back home. Got shocked the hell out of me la k..

That was the adventure for me today...

Raya Time...

It's the first day of Raya and im already at cc. There's still no internet at home. Daddy borrowed money from me. Coz he sed he wanted to pay bills watever crap la.. I was ok with it. But still,he didn't pay anything. He used the money for the car i think. Whatever! I wonder what happen to all his money. Erm...

Owh ya! I pierced my nose. Sorry la, since im at cc i can't put pictures. But i do have pictures at my myspace. Raya was boring. Rendang's and Lemang's. Rendang's was ok but the Lemang sucks. My duit raya hit up to RM1035... YAHOO!! lols..

First we raya at Wan's house.. then at Baby's house. Wan went to Singapore during raya. She's going shopping there with Aunt. Rima. What else is new?.... Kena buang told oledi.....urm....

Yes... Im working at Yazid now.. hahaha! Im working during the raya week. Now on cuti, starting back on Tuesday. Nothing much too talk bout ;la... Family still in shit situation..

Byes...

Daddy's Back!!

Finally's daddy's back. Sorry i don't have a picture with him. Dunno why is never in my phone. Whatever la.

Let's start from the starting of the day... Went to school coz exam la... Econs and BM. It was easy! That's because i didn't take the exam. I bet its such a question mark. So ok la.. keep that aside.

Erm, went to school, assembly.. Then the form 4's have to go to class first coz got exam. Went into the class, rest my ass 4 a while. Rena was outside then she called me and sed that our class teacher, Pn Adiyani wanted us to go upstairs. I was like shouting from upstairs like my grandmother's skool la k.. I ask her why? She said that Pn Chan wanted to see me and Rena. So i quickly gave my phone to Ishnee. It was like 7.30 a.m. Exam started at 7.50 a.m.

Yeah, we went to the office. It seem that i got expelled from school. It have been for like 84 days since January i didn't come to school. Owh! Rena got expelled too. She didn't come for 69 days. Whatever la Norsham said that the way my mum wrote the letter for school was not acceptable. Whateva! So Pn Chan said that i can't take the exam and i have to go back home. When she pick me up, we went to PPD to get the surat rayuan for me and they will koll back after raya.

Hello... after raya is like only 3 days of school then no one will be going to school. Pn Chan said that i can retake the exam but no marks given. What's the bluddy use like that right?So i think i will be going to school next year instead. Form 5, SPM year. Mum said enough of my legends for the past 2 years. LOL..

After that me n mum went to KLIA to pick up daddy.. While waiting, yeah we did take pictures.. But that will be updated soon...

My vans!!

Headache season..

Yeah! Finally Daddy is coming back.. I hope he came here sincerely. I think that's the right word. Owh you know what i mean! Yeah, it is a Headache Season ... Everything comes in a combo izzit? I think that's what you say Life's Unfair. Ugh!

First problem, yeah my parents. Its getting worst day by day. I can't stand watching my mum Emoing .. I mean like, everyday she comes to me talking about daddy's attitude and all. It's kinda upsetting of what i heard from mummy. It seem's that mum wants to sell off the restaurant at Sabah and she have been thinking to open a small shop here instead. Daddy agreed at first but in the end he rejected the desicion. Swear to god i really dunno what is his problem. I mean like why doesn't he want to sell off the shop. I dunno why but i'm always blaming the "BITCH" at sabah that 'pukau' daddy. Do you think that woman put Black Magic on daddy?

I think so.. =s

Now for me second problem,... I kinda dunno what is my problem! OK2..jk...

It's exams! How can i do my exams when i am thinking of my parent's crisis? Thinking of many things could happen.. Like a Divorce? Who am i gonna stay with? Waaaaa..... Why is this happening?

Mummy said that she wants to make sure that i go to college and she will decide of what to do with her life. Whether to move on or not...

Internet connection is down at home... So long time i havem't right in blogs. Now is 11.54. Bluddy connection closes at 12. So i think tis is the end of this blog. Nites.

Well, i think daddy read my blog.

So happy that he is coming back on the 9 October. Hope everything wil be happy... Not everything will be ok.. The word 'OK' was replaced by 'Happy'.

There are times that i feel like i want to quit my group Uptown Hardstyle. Kay people! The truth is about to reveal. I only know how to do melbourne shuffle and liquid. I so do not know hardstyle. It's not because i don't put the effort to learn is just that you see, Alif seems like he don't wanna teach me. Its so whatever.

Then its like we are always in a World War 3 situation.. Now at Starbucks Uptown. There's no internet at home. We haven't pay the bills. Before i was online, Alif was like so fine. I wasn't talking to him and he didn't say he was bored or whatever shits. After that i started online, he was like saying bored. I was like WTF? Makes no difference right? What's his problem with me and online-ing?

Tomorrow going to Baze Club. Shuffle finals. Later going to Uptown D' Kota buying my vans. Wan ( my grandma ) gave me money.. Finally i can shop for raya. We still haven't shop for our raya and its kinda sad coz raya is just next week!

Duit raya baby! LOLS! Can't wait for my birthday. Counting the days man... 21 more days... Hopefully i will have a fun time then coz actually on that 23 itself was suppose to be me and Edy's 7 month. That bluddy bastard.. Gowd..

Whatever la.. He still owes me money. Hope he won't be happy with his life with another girl.. Especially that Indon-look-a-like Bitch.

Tata..

At last my baby is free! He stop working from Yazid's steakhouse already. First coz he sed that he want's to study for his SPM and also finally he has time for me now. But we promise each other not to meet that often coz we are scared that it will happen like before. Like we meet everyday and we got bored of each other.

He slept over at my house recently. We slept like only this morning that was at 8 a.m. Then we woke up at 4 something. Ehehe.. Now we just got back from Uptown. Hang out with Easther just now. Talking bout life and all. I know. Nothing else to talk about. Also we were like talking bout my parents. My daddy at Sabah n my mum is here so is like arguements everyday. Its kinda sad to see my mum cry everyday. Also we still suspect that my dad still have an affair with a Sabahan girl. Swear to god if i ever get to know who is the girl, its Riot time for her. Im just gonna kill her and make her suffer with my bare hands!

Spoiling people's family... Not just a family. A happy family in every way. Currently listening to Family Potrait by Pink. I just like that song coz its like based on my story. Also sometimes i listen to Because Of You by Kelly Clarkson.

Daddy, this is for you..

To me is just sad that it's been 3 months i haven't met Daddy. At times i just cry because i feel like im living in a world without a father. At first i know he was behind me, supporting me to move on in life then with all of the sudden... He just went missing.. To me, every child needs the Father's Love. I miss you daddy.. Please im begging you to come back and fill the empty space in the house. Mummy is feeling lonely.. Im feeling lonely. I cry whenever i see kids with their daddy's hugging and having fun time together.

Ya at the moment im crying while typing all these shits.

Daddy, if you are reading this, izzit because the 'girl' you don't wanna come back? I really hope you wwill be back for raya. Most important is i hope you will be here for my birthday.

I miss you daddy.

New hair and loving it...

I just rebond my hair today..

It looks nice. Cost me RM200.. There goes all the money Shamir gave me..

LOL..

What made you think that i didn't cam whore? Baby highlighted his hair. He looks better actually..

We did our hair at Kampung Pandan. He only numb his ass for like almost 2 hours. i NUMB my ass for 3 bluddy hours!!

My baby's new hair. Love it! I chose the colour. But no worries, after my birthday our hair is gonna be in Pink colour!

Sleepy yet had a fun time. It was worth it.

Owh swear to god i had fun time last night! It was like a heaven of shuffle! I went to Baze Club coz there was a shuffle competition. I went with Mumy, Baby, Afiq, Abg.Sam and Beat Attack group. It seems that Nini and Fatimah was there. Well, we plan to meet there anyways.
LOL!
So we left the house at 9 i think coz before 10 is free... But we were too late or somethink, we had to pay. Mumy sed it doesnt matter. She dun have to go in. Only me and abg sama nd the gang goes in. It was just fine for me. :)

In the car..

The two babes of mine.
Nini and Fatimah

Well, my baby got to try on Fiq's reflectors!

Is it so obvious that i am desperate for it?

Sporting mum in da world people!
Tell me which mother ever allows her to go clubbing... With her!

This was after the competition. We all total cam whored outside!
Everyone was like masuk air time la kayh!

This is my baby's bestie, Afiq known as Apito. First picture ever with him!

Afiq said that the hotel should change its name.
It should be called Mirror Hotel coz everywhere we turn have mirrors.

This is the end of the pics..
By just looking at it, i could tell that i will be going again next week!

Ok...because of this event last night, i couldn't do my exam. All i did was sleeping in the class. We went out from Baze at 2 something then we went makan at Uptown. It seems that Abg Sam likes Fatimah. Lol! Notty Abg Sam.
Today i had accounts exam. Paper 1 was ok but paper 2 i did what i got to know and while waiting for answers or somebody to help me, I slept already. I woke up 12.30. Paper finishes at 12.45. Wonderful kan?